“You’ve changed and it seems like I don’t even know who you are anymore.”
This phrase is stated as an insult intended to discourage growth.
In the past few years, I have become a completely different person. Like a butterfly emerging from it’s chrysalis or perhaps an old skin has shed (kind of like a basilisk trapped in a chamber beneath a school).
Holding onto elements of your identity that no longer serve you can be daunting when you were once defined by them. Be here’s the key: you are allowed to change. You are allowed to question. You are allowed to struggle–because if you are struggling, you’re growing. What is happening TO you is happening FOR you. Let the transformation naturally occur. Let it make stronger, braver, kinder, lighter. Completely open your heart and mind and trust the process.
There will always be those negative forces that fear your change and growth. It terrifies them because they are stagnate.
Here’s some sound advice for dealing with Negative Forces during your transformation: (and I’m personally trying to take the advice each and everyday)
*Whenever the negative chaos starts, smile and remain silent. Remain completely detached and don’t get involved. Leave the room if you can. Negative people are simply seeking to get a reaction from you. They feed on this. Don’t let them catch you in their web of negativity because as soon as you do, that’s when they start draining your energy. Their goal is to weaken you so you have to be strong and not give in to them.
*Observe the event like an outsider–ass if you’re watching a movie. Say to yourself, “What a shame this character is so unhappy.” Realize their unhappiness is their choice and has nothing to do with you. We all have free will to choose happiness. This isn’t always an easy thing to do but definitely a powerful technique. This works really well with family who you don’t really have a choice as to whether they’re in your life or not.
*While there negativity is spewing envision a bright white light surrounding you. Their negativity can’t touch you because you now have a force field protecting you. It’s incredible how amazing this technique works. There negativity unfortunately is sent out into the universe, but it will not be absorbed by you. Try to counter it by thinking of positive thoughts and love for that person, despite their toxic energy.
*I’ve come to realize that the “universe” uses negative people as the way to get me to move on whenever I’m getting comfortable in a situation that isn’t challenging me anymore. Use their negativity to propel changes within yourself. If they are putting you down, use the opportunity to affirm your self-worth. If they are judgmental, use that as a sign from the universe to be grateful for your own open mindedness. Think of their negativity are a springboard for your own journey.
Negative people want one thing: to get a reaction out of you and the only way they can is if they know how to hit your buttons. They will do anything to make you as unhappy as they are. So, if there’s one particular person who drains your positive energy, ask yourself why you are allowing this? Sometimes, you can learn a lot about yourself by analyzing what feelings it stirs within you. Once you are cognizant of this, you’ll find that that person no longer has any power over you.
And finally, do not try to fix them. They do not want to be fixed. Leave that up to Karma.